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Hello friends! In this week’s newsletter, we continue our discussion of why some younger adult Christians left a church: they were wounded by it. The stories we heard were not about hurt feelings or healthy disagreements. They were about real pain that left people feeling unsafe in a place meant to be a refuge. They were stories of people who no longer felt safe in their former church. We found their stories fell into two broad categories: Harm within the church body — financial scandals, leaders overstepping their authority, families judged and shamed over divorce or their grown children’s choices, church splits, and cover-ups. Personal abuse — what therapists now call Religious Trauma Syndrome, and cases where leaders sided with an accused member over the victim, failing to investigate.
First, permit us to offer a few suggestions to church leaders in the above scenarios: When problems arise, listen first. Take reports seriously. Report abuse allegations as legally required. Build real accountability.
Remember that how you address situations can either build or erode trust. Second, to those who’ve been hurt, we offer this word: We believe you. We are really sorry for what happened to you. God sees you, grieves with you, and hasn’t turned away from you — even if the church let you down.
And, please hear this: If you are still carrying the effects of harmful and traumatic experiences, consider seeking support from a trusted person or qualified professional.
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