Hello, friends!

For several months now, we’ve been answering a question that was sent to us: Why are so many 20- and 30-year-olds leaving Churches of Christ?

If you’ve been following this series, you know we heard from scores who have left. The number one reason they gave was this: they no longer agreed with something the church taught. Three specific teachings came up again and again — a limited role for women in the church, anti-gay and LGBTQ rhetoric, and Christian nationalism.

➡️ In this issue — the last one in this series — we want to look at two more reasons respondents gave for leaving: they experienced the church as legalistic and exclusive.

What we heard

One person wrote: “I stopped regularly attending Churches of Christ in my mid-20s. I was learning more about grace and realized I had grown up with a lot of legalism. Now, I am thankful to God for his grace and salvation that has nothing to do with my performance or merit.”

Another said: “There is just too much emphasis on following rules in Churches of Christ. Too much emphasis on obedience and not enough on grace.”

A third respondent connected legalism to a deeper problem: spiritual pride. She said her church’s legalism taught members that they alone had scripture figured out, and that anyone who disagrees must be wrong. “The teaching was,” she said, “that we are right and everyone else is wrong.” Then, she offered: “The world has moved on from that kind of arrogance.”

One man made a similar point. “Legalism,” he said, “convinced people in his church that they were the only ones who were right, and that conviction made the church very judgmental of others.”

Perhaps the most pointed comment came from someone who said: “The Church of Christ has the reputation for being legalistic and narrow-minded and producing mean-spirited people who have turned their children against faith altogether because of how critical they are of the faith and practices of others.”

Legalism? Exclusivity? Judgmentalism? Too much emphasis on following rules and obedience? In this week’s podcast we want to respond to some of these themes and what some of these younger adults shared with us. We hope you will tune in and join the conversation.

➡️ This week’s podcast discusses the response of some younger adults who say they experienced the church as legalistic and exclusive. Go here to listen in: Why They Left: Legalism and Exclusivity.

*You can listen on Spotify, too!

Again, we welcome your comments on this subject. We would be honored for you to join the conversation. Send your viewpoints to hello@kerryandbecky.com, and thank you!

From the sacred writings:

“For by grace you have been saved through faith, and this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God — not the result of works, so that no one may boast.”

— Ephesians 2:8,9 (NRSV)

“And being made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation to all who obey him.”

— Hebrews 5:9 (ESV)

“So, for the sake of your tradition, you make void the word of God. You hypocrites! Isaiah prophesied rightly about you when he said: ‘This people honors me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me; in vain do they worship me, teaching human precepts as doctrines.”

— Matthew 15: 6-9 (NRSV)

A prayer:

Dear Father,

Please help us to think clearly when we read, interpret, and apply your words. Enlighten us. Give us insight.

Once we understand your will for us, give us the fortitude and strength to obey. But, keep us from thinking that our obedience or performance of your will is the cause of our right standing before you. We know they are not, but sometimes we are confused about how grace and obedience are to be understood in your plan. And, sometimes we’ve been guilty of thinking too highly of ourselves.

Give us conviction regarding what we believe your word teaches. But, keep us from becoming judgmental, unkind, and mean-spirited. Enable us to hold our convictions with humility, grace, and love for people who may disagree with us.

Finally, Father, we ask you to give us the spirit and heart of Jesus. In every way, make us more like our Savior, in whose name we pray, Amen.

May God richly bless you!

Kerry and Becky

P.S. We’re going to be with the North Bend Church of Christ in North Bend, Oregon for a church revitalization workshop this weekend. If any of you are in that region, we’d love to see you! Join us at 2761 Broadway in North Bend this Sunday for Bible class at 9:30am and worship at 10:30am.

🤔 What’s on your mind?

Just a reminder: if you would like a sounding board for some “church thing”—a situation, question, problem, or concern—we’d be happy to reflect on it with you. Let us know what it is, and we’ll be honored to respond!